First, I'd like to rejoice in the fact that our sweet angel Amelia would have been 2 years old today. Although I was only 12 weeks pregnant when we learned of her passing, we already picked out a name so we have always felt our baby was a girl. After losing our second sweet baby, times were definitely dark for us both. For me, I struggled longer with the idea of never having a baby. I was never mad at God for taking her because I knew one day I would know his reason. However, I was angry at him for blessing those I felt weren't deserving. As more people and friends around me received their blessing my heart ached more and more. For a long time I wrestled with emotions not even my husband understood. Night after night, reading facebook posts about pregnancy I cried. When will it be my turn God?
I began to set a timeline that gave me something to look forward to. We discovered that I was pregnant in March and on May 13, 2010 we learned our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I wanted to be pregnant again by my due date November 28, 2010. That date passed me by. As a matter of fact, I was very ill. In and out of doctors appointments. My body didn't seem to be bouncing back from the miscarriage. I finally had surgery in December for my Endometriosis. I read that after this surgery women tend to get pregnant faster, so I wanted to be pregnant by March, the month I found out I was pregnant last. All the while I was still very ill. I became very depressed because I felt so bad and I wasn't getting answers from the doctors. I went through so many tests but finally in February the doctor told me I had Mono and another virus. Finally I had a diagnosis and I could continue my recovery and begin trying for a baby again. March came and went. Even though I felt better I started thinking, I'm not ready to start trying again. My body had been through so much. My heart and mind had also changed. During this long process Benjie and I started attending Edgewood again. God showed me that he is never failing and the hurt in my heart melted away. I began to realize my life isn't on my own timeline, it's on his. He will provide for me when it's right. I noticed a change in Benjie as well. His outlook had changed and he began living for the Lord. Finally, a reason for the loss of our sweet Amelia. To save her parents! Benjie rededicated his life to the Lord and was publicly baptized. We became members at Edgewood, all the while still trying for God's miracle.
Month after month there came disappointment. Struggling to keep our faith in September we took our annual anniversary trip. This year we decided to go to Portland, OR. What a beautiful place to witness God's wonder btw! It was our special week, but I decided I won't ruin our trip in worrying about baby making processes. We drove all over, seeing Crater Lake, Multnomah Falls, fishing on the Columbia River, Seaside and much more. What a relaxing trip we had.
October came and I knew by the calendar it was time to get serious again. We had a relaxing vacation to get away from it all and now it's time to really try. Only, this time mother nature didn't pay me a visit! The test was positive! I woke Benjie that morning. Showed him the test and told him he was going to be a dad! Again! We both cried. The first 12 weeks were long. We wanted so bad to share our wonderful news but we knew from before it's best to make sure. I went through a lot to sustain my pregnancy but obviously on June 20, 2012 we welcomed our third child into this world!
Our loveable Portlin Benjamin Parker is 5 months and 8 days old!
Height: 27 1/4 inches
Weight:18 lbs. 14 oz.
Milestones: Portlin has started eating solids. He loves carrots, will tolerate green beans, and hates squash! He can almost sit up on his own, almost like a little tripod. If you put his hands between his legs he'll balance himself for several seconds.
Sleep: We had a few rough nights this last month because of his teeth but he is back on schedule. Mommy and Daddy get a full 7 hours!
Best Moment: I still love to see him smile at me. I love when I go get him for his night feeding he will place his arms around my neck as if he were giving me a hug. Sweetest thing ever!
Worst Moment: He has his second ear infection. Trying to give him medicine is like trying to feed a wild hyena!
Health: Except for the ear infection, he is a VERY healthy boy.
Worst Moment: He has his second ear infection. Trying to give him medicine is like trying to feed a wild hyena!
Health: Except for the ear infection, he is a VERY healthy boy.
Eating: Doing great! Hopefully we can introduce some fruits to his diet starting next week.
Teeth: 3 NOW! His bottom two are very visible and the top tooth has barely broke through the gum.
Extra comments: The holidays are approaching very quickly and we are so excited! Although Portlin doesn't understand the meaning of Santa yet, we look forward to his first Christmas with us! He has already had his picture made with Santa and will be having holiday photos taken for our Christmas cards with Mrs. Sally this weekend!
Here's a picture of the big guy!
Portlin was also dedicated at church on November 18th! What a stud muffin!
Here are some pics from his first Thanksgiving.
